@Cheeseboy22: "And then we'll have the throat hole open up and a rectangle candy will drop from it. Kids will love it." ~ Inventors of Pez dispensers.
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@BoogTweets: Me: Take this My Uber passenger: *holds gun in blood soaked car* WTF JUS HAPPENED? Me: You tell me "Mr Finger prints on a murder weapon"
@just1fool: To convert Celsius to Fahrenheit to double Celsius and add thirty. To convert someone to Mormonism you double the wives and add 17 kids.
@LuvPug: To the twenty something year old girls who think forty something year old women are jealous of them- enjoy your next 240 periods!