@Jacksawyerr: *angrily detangles self from wind chime*
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@david8hughes: [first day working at the pizzeria] Me [cheeks full like a hamster]: boss, we've run out of everything
@graceful_asfuck: Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here
@ChrisRGun: I don't hate people for their skin, creeds or heritage. I hate them based on how fond they are of Minions.