@OhNoSheTwitnt: Shower like nobody is watching.

@nonsensetwit: If I had a daycare, I think it would be awesome to get each kid to wear one of those backpack-leash things and make them pull me on a sled.

@murrman5: excuse me, waitress? "I'm not a waitress" Oh, what are you then "Well, I'm a..*turns to other burger king employee* what the hell are we?"

@MavenofHonor: I'm enjoying a run through the sprinkler, but everyone else "smells smoke" and "thinks we should leave the conference room"

@KenJennings: Friday night is my weekly time to ponder...which do I hate more: my friends, or having to make new friends?