@brendohare: Ants can lift something 50 times their body weight. Wow. That means you can lift a leaf. Cool. I could do that when I was 14. Tiny idiots.
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@ChaseMit: "Can we stop for a second? I forgot everyone's names again." - me, if I was a character on Game of Thrones
@CockSnake: Girlfriend: "I'm pregnant" Me: "Really? Thats great." GF: "April Fo--" *I'm already on a plane to a non extradition country*
@SondraDeeMe: When my boyfriend gives me a hug during an argument, it looks loving, but I'm just patting him down to make sure he's not wearing a wire.