@vanluvz1: Any fountain can be a Fountain of Youth if filled with champagne and you've had 5 glasses.
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@TheMichaelRock: [at interview] Her: In three words or less, tell me why we should hire you. Me: I'm good with numbers.
@2tonbug: "Check, please!" - Me, at a restaurant begging the waiter to make sure there are no monsters under the table
@NightTraumaDoc: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
@ojedge: DOCTOR: "Ok, now PUSH!" WOMAN IN LABOUR: "Should I be doing this in my state?" DR: [leaning out of car window] "Less talky, more pushy."