@vanluvz1: Any fountain can be a Fountain of Youth if filled with champagne and you've had 5 glasses.
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@PLATINUM2000: Me: I killed another one, boss. Mob boss: You don't work for me. Me: I volunteered. Mob boss:*Looking angry* Me: I'm gonna get back to work.
@GinAndJif: When animals lick each other it's bonding, but when I do it at work as part of a team building exercise it's all "inappropriate" & "call HR"
@CornOnTheGoblin: "You promise you didn't get me bees again" [me from a distance] just open it
@TheMichaelRock: I bet aliens would visit us more if Will Smith didn't punch them in the head as soon as they got here.