@vanluvz1: Any fountain can be a Fountain of Youth if filled with champagne and you've had 5 glasses.
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@roadkill3x: Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back.
@KendellMadden: "I know, right?!!" Is the WRONG thing to say when my neighbor tells me that his wife is wild in bed. Lesson learned.
@Bluestmoon_: How to make microwave popcorn: 2 minutes 27 seconds-half bag popped. 2 minutes 29 seconds-MICROWAVE ON FIRE.