@LeanneMacco: Any governments / terrorist groups looking to rule by fear should get some tips from spiders.
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@KentWGraham: Our forefathers fought against British rule so anyone can become president. For the first time in 240 years, we’re regretting that decision.
@david8hughes: The carwash is a great place to meet other millionaires who for some reason don't have garden hoses.
@CoolBabyRat: *mugger walks up* GIMME EVERYTHING YOU GOT! *mugger slowly walks away with $2.16 and a lifetime of anxiety & existential misunderstanding*
@AmarndaBvnes: don’t be offended if someone doesn’t reply to your text. their phone is prob “just on silent” or “right in front of their lying face”