@DanMentos: Any party is an ugly sweater party if you’re ugly and you sweat a lot
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@Try2StopME: A baby was born laughing really hard with it's fists closed! The confused Doctor unfolded it's tiny fingers, & found a birth control pill.
@TheAlexNevil: *gets paper cut *curses God for his cruelty *sees commercial about starving children in Africa *curses God for commercial interruptions