@notalogin: Any question can be a rhetorical question if you walk away fast enough.
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@ericsshadow: [me telling a joke] guy wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat: I don't understand. ME: There's probably a lot you don't understand.
@liv_thatsme: If I get nervous for a date, I just imagine the guy in his underpants, sitting on my couch for the next 40 years, & suddenly I'm annoyed
@CarolinaSong: That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, "my shirt smells like you" & you misspell shirt