@Opiyow: Anyone can beat a polygraph.It doesn't even have hands.
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@Vijaytiwari1611: Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!"
@kimt205: Eaten so many blue cheese stuffed olives today that it feels like France and Greece are waging a war for land in my intestines.
@Schmoodles: I ate a big cheeseburger for lunch and my heart started going really fast, so I'm counting it as an hour at the gym.
@MikeCanRant: A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand.