@Opiyow: Anyone can beat a polygraph.It doesn't even have hands.
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@Michael1979: There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl
@TheDailySchmuck: 1995: one day the Internet will allow all people access to the full breadth of human knowledge. 2016: *watching cat videos*
@nishadtrivedi: What they're actually saying is "I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"
@leechee420: $10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that'd be a great name for my new baby!"