@Opiyow: Anyone can beat a polygraph.It doesn't even have hands.
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@IfTonyTweeted: If the hackers that stole all those Yahoo passwords could tell me what mine is I’d appreciate it. I’ve been locked out for about 4 years now
@LeviKabwato: Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure.
@RuinMyWeek: [God & his assistant making giraffes] ASST: Say "when" once the neck is long enough, k? *God is on his iPhone not really paying attention*
@Sychlops: Pretty sure Zinedine Zidane never forgave his parents for all the waiting he had to do for his attendance call in school.