@runolgarun: Anyone who doesn't believe sentient A.I. will be the death of humanity has never been asked by Waze to make an unprotected left turn.
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@urgeekisshowing: I'm rockin the 'Barbie doll' look today. No, I didn't dye my hair blonde. I did 4 pushups and now I can't unbend my arms
@Sean_Burgundy_: Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much
@JillBidenVeep: Joe: I'm going to ask Donald if he wants something to eat Barack: That's nice, Joe Joe: And then I'm going to offer him knuckle sandwiches
@Book_Krazy: Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it's only Wednesday