@YayForJam: Anyone who's voice doesn't jump a few octaves when talking to a puppy probably kills people for a living
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@kevinseccia: "What race was the guy?" - a question you'll never have to ask my uncle during a story.
@thatdutchperson: Being a Zombie doesn't sound that bad. You don't have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now.
@internetluke: [Seahawks locker room] Coach: okay if we want to win we will need to have a bigger number for the score! Wilson: well put! Well put!
@TheBeerGuy73: The bank robbery would have ended much better for me if I hadn't stopped on the way out at the ATM to deposit the money.