@YayForJam: Anyone who's voice doesn't jump a few octaves when talking to a puppy probably kills people for a living
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@StymieBrewer: Today I accidentally dropped my sunglasses into the toilet and flushed them. Tomorrow a very cool alligator will rule the sewers.
@UnFitz: Maybe we'd still be in the Garden of Eden if Eve had given Adam an Android instead of an Apple. You don't know.
@DaddyJew: Me: in a parallel world I am a huge success Medic: please stop moving your arm so we can get it out of the vending machine