@ShoutingGoddess: Anyone you can do, I can do better..
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@heatherlou_: A "good parenting" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?
@DontDraketheIce: Detective: how were u able to do it? Serial Killer: thanks to the flexibility of Uber. I was able to work my own hours and still murder
@KalvinMacleod: ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something
@DannyZuker: If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.