@ShittyComedian: Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, "Did you bring the lube?" As loud as possible.
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@Mikecanrant: Got any spare change? No, Im an athiest. Can you give me a hand? No, Im an athiest. Hows the weather? Sorry, Im an athiest. - Athiests
@BuckyIsotope: When you gaze into the abyss sometimes the abyss pats you gently on the hand and says she's just not that into you.
@whatmaddness: Friends with kids: what's the matter with you, why don't you have kids yet Also them: kill me my life is a bottomless pit of despair