@paulrobalino: Aoccdrnig to Ylae rseaerch, it deosn't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is how mcuh mnoey you hvae
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@TheToddWilliams: [heaven] ME: Lord? JESUS: My son ME: I have an important question JESUS: I know…The meaning of life is f- ME: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?
@SarcasticAlly12: People say "life's a journey, not a destination," because the destination is death. The journey sucks too. Anyway, to the bride and groom!
@Shock_Monster: If I could go back in time & change any event that would alter the course of history: I probably wouldn't have super sized that fry order.
@3sunzzz: [text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.