@paulrobalino: Aoccdrnig to Ylae rseaerch, it deosn't mtater waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is how mcuh mnoey you hvae
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@DanMentos: [teaching my 3yo the alphabet] "Ok what's a word that starts with Q" cucumber "That's uh… I don't… let's pick this up again tomorrow"
@robfee: Past elections: Which candidate will most improve our country? 2016 election: Which candidate is least likely to start The Purge?
@trevso_electric: If diet and exercise are not working for you, try actually dieting and actually exercising.
@dshack8: I live by 2 simple rules: 1. Don't treat people like shit. 2. If any melted cheese gets on your paper plate, you must also eat the plate.