@lovemyboots111: Apparently asking the boss " who ignited the fuse on your tampon?" will get you sent to HR.
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@TheAlexNevil: Police Sketch Artist: How about now? Me: Look I already told you, the fruit bowl is nice for perspective, but I wasn't mugged by a naked guy
@Brianhopecomedy: The city I live in has the highest rate of stalkings in Canada. I told a girl at the grocery store this. Then I told her at the gym.
@GrillinChillin9: Want to feel old? Have a kid ask you why it's called "rolling down the car window" when all you do is press a button.