@roxaroodw: Apparently it's inappropriate to ask where her shoes are from when you're in the next stall.
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@GregDunbar1: Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds.
@thongbeard: Selfies are just sad reminders that you have no friends willing to take pictures of your face and cleavage.
@FilthyRichmond: Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life.
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s pretty sad when people are incapable of moving beyond small talk ME: do you like things?