@MichaelGoffLA: Apparently organ donation has to be *your own* organ and this police officer has a lot of questions.
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@GlumGeorgeLucas: My interior decorator quit on her first day on the job. I told her to paint all the walls in my house to be green screens.
@ferranticathy: Bored, go into a fitting room wait a couple minutes then yell, "where's the toilet paper"
@dshack8: Taught a parrot to repeatedly say "WHERE ARE YOUR GLOVES?" and now I don't have to talk to my kids until Spring so that's pretty cool.