@MichaelGoffLA: Apparently organ donation has to be *your own* organ and this police officer has a lot of questions.
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@LorieGZ: I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I'm too excited to wait at home so I'm camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?
@P_o_n_k: DR. BABY: Ma'am, I'm sorry. We were unable to reattach your husband's nose WOMAN: *Cries into hands* DR. BABY: Wait where did she go
@Twtercide: 911: What is your emergency? Me: Fire 911: Riley, is that you? Me:.... 911: Listen carefully, that firefighter asked to be transferred.
@_Mo_lee_: Red cross: would you like to volunteer to give blood? Me: oh, no thank you, I already involuntarily give blood 5 days out of the month