@Carbosly: Apparently, saying "make it a double" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy.
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@yungfedora: *hits bong* *abuses bong* *bong calls bong protection agency* *bong custody taken* *bong put in foster home* *bong misses old life*
@robdelaney: Maybe Van Gogh cut his ear off because someone traveled back in time and whispered a Drake song in it.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Receptionist: So you're here about your carpal tunnel huh..fill out these 20 forms and press hard so the copies are clear
@TitaniumToplass: Girls are like tornadoes because in pictures it's like wow those look cool but in person it's all omg what do I do