@Mr_Kapowski: McDonald’s Employee: Sir, your kids are not welcome at the Play Place Me: How dare you *one of my goats pops its head up from the ball pit chewing a child’s hat*

@o__0Dev: The average Apple employee works 6 hours longer a day than an Apple battery.

@tragecies: Biden: What if we paint the Mexican flag in the office Obama: Joe, no Biden: I already ordered the paint Obama: Joe

@Robert_Beau: CW: The boss said she wanted to see you. Me: That's flattering, but I don't date people from work.

@Quartzjixler: I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars.