@KKAlThani: If you love something, set a cheese trap. If you catch it, it's a mouse. Why are you in love with a mouse?

@Thee1_4U: How to win an argument with a woman: 1. Too late, you're already wrong.

@LoveNLunchmeat: If someone dies from laced cocaine, does the coroner write "devastating blow" on the death certificate?

@BallsMcBallski: Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?

@InternetHippo: I’m in pretty good shape [lie detector buzzes] Yesterday I sneezed too hard and now my neck hurts