@Carbosly: Apparently, saying "make it a double" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy.
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@ericsshadow: My wife googled "when is it safe to leave a child at home alone" and now she won't let me stay home alone.
@Michael1979: There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl
@SamTR7: I just got an email offering "free bible verses". You know, because who can afford bible verses?
@theyearofelan: Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside