@EricGoldie: Apparently "some assembly required" is IKEA for "here's a beech tree and some nails."
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@NateMorrising: I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery.
@sad_tree: [courtroom] Lawyer: If you didnt bite that surfers leg THEN WHO DID Shark: I'm telling you idk *whale in the audience opens a big newspaper*
@Tmoney68: [2 T-Rex's getting drunk] "I'm wasted." "Me too. You know how bad?" "Don't say it again." "I can't feel my face." "Goddammit, Kevin."