@canazn_73: Apparently the unbuttoning of a shirt and letting your hair down for a cop only works for women.
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@BriarSlyMadness: *climbs Mt. Everest hoping to find clarity, PEACE & a deeper understanding of myself & the world* "When did they put a Starbucks up here?"
@MatCro: [GF comes home to find our son alone] Where are you? I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: [soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice] I AM
@TheMichaelRock: If Daryl doesn't get laid this season, I'm gonna have to say that this documentary is fake. #TheWalkingDead
@squirrel74wkgn: *pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong.