@canazn_73: Apparently the unbuttoning of a shirt and letting your hair down for a cop only works for women.
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@beefman138: Historian : Rome wasn't built in a day. Me : [Trying to impress the girls] He's right, you know, it was built in Italy.
@carlyken: I think about wizards and dragons way more than a wizard of 3 small dragons should. Dammit I meant mother of 3 small dragons. Dammit I meant
@KeetPotato: wife: "no" me: "its a good name" wife: "keith we're not calling the dog sarah jessica barker, keep thinking" me: wife: me: "woofie goldberg"
@comer310: Me: Anything you can do I can do better, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU! Mom: Why are you yelling at the dog?