@faizziy: Apparently "The WiFi signal is the strongest there" isn't the right answer when the boss asks "Why are you spending so much time in toilet?"
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@_ElvishPresley_: *animal dies in a movie* this is the saddest thing I've ever seen *robot dies in a movie* omg why am I crying it's just a robot *human dies in a movie* yes yes kill them all
@moose_chocolate: Music star Kenny Rogers announced his retirement yesterday. In other news, Kenny Rogers is still alive, apparently.
@Henry_3k: *Goes back in time to kill the inventors of Twitter. Returns home to amaze friends on Facebook with endless jokes about vodka & pizza.*