@faizziy: Apparently "The WiFi signal is the strongest there" isn't the right answer when the boss asks "Why are you spending so much time in toilet?"
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@WheelTod: Sure Charlie got himself a Chocolate Factory, but his grandparents got to stay in bed for 20 years so ask yourself who were the real winners
@Jenny4ashley: Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows
@tehaveragejoel: "will..." *Starbucks barista squints at name on cup* "... the Red Slime Shoddy please stand up?" *Eminem flips table and storms out*