@faizziy: Apparently "The WiFi signal is the strongest there" isn't the right answer when the boss asks "Why are you spending so much time in toilet?"
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@neiltyson: If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range.
@BlairLoudly: One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby
@WeissBrandon: When I see a couple and the women's pregnant. I always walk up and YELL "why don't you tell him who is really the father." and walk away