@faizziy: Apparently "The WiFi signal is the strongest there" isn't the right answer when the boss asks "Why are you spending so much time in toilet?"
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@littlekitnerboy: Id like to thank the Walmart cashier for making me feel like big money. I guess you don't see many $20 bills, glad you made sure its legit.
@callmeshitto: 18 years ago today, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved our country and our PLANET from an alien invasion. Never forget
@mstluvstrinkets: The neighbor's wife is gonna be so happy when she sees how much yardwork he got done today. -I think, laying out in a bikini in my backyard
@jonnysun: "fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u" - a goldfish :(