@nerdonfire1: Apparently, the words "I'd still hit it" are words best kept to yourself at a funeral
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@truegritrumble: ME: *staring into my lover's eyes in the midst of a warm embrace* HER: What are you thinking? ME: *caressing her cheek* I forgot your name.
@mrtruthandsoul: "Now officer, hear me out: alcohol is a depressant and cocaine is a stimulant. Therefore, mixed in equal parts, I'm basically sober!"
@MarfSalvador: Wildebeest: 5 cheetahs on the horizon sir Wildebeest Sergeant: How many men do we have? Wildebeest: 4,000 Wildebeest Sergeant: RETREAT!
@electrolemon: this harriet tubman news is gonna make it super awkward every time i purchase slaves in cash