@just1fool: Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess.
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@pplwtching: If someone says, "right about now" and you don't respond with "the funk soul brother" we can't be friends.
@samfromks: Wife: Why the hell did you buy a buffalo? Me: I'd rather have a buffalo and not need it than need a buffalo and not have it.
@KKBowls: [at my house after 1st date] me: so, do you wanna have some sex? her: well, I don't normally do this...but I think I'll pass