@just1fool: Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess.
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@david8hughes: [last supper] "Tonight, one of you will betray me for 20 pieces of silver." "30." "Sorry Judas?" [sips wine] "I didn't say anything."
@davidkenny100: Me as the astronaut in that Martian movie: "Day 1 I have enough food to last 459 days" "Day 2 I now have enough food to last 170 days"
@Thynebear: [In Court] Does the Defense have any last words? *defense rises* DE-FENSE *Judge holds up picket fence* DE-FENSE *Jury starts The Wave*