@dhumann: Apparently, Walt Disney was a secret FBI snitch for 26 years so I guess you could say he was a rat who was famous for drawing a mouse.
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@Underchilde: I sure get a lot of compliments on my people skills for someone who flips off 10 people every day.
@weinerdog4life: Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know.
@mrsmith196645: 911: What is your emergency. M: I need to report a home invasion. This woman looks like my mother in law but she's smiling. Please hurry.
@primawesome: It's uncool to be religious. It's uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyoncé. It's the only way to be safe.