@juliagalef: Still my favorite headline of all time:

@gojarbe: [on a date] me: what's your favorite book series about a big red dog? her: uhh Clifford, i guess me: wow we have a lot in common

@MichaelAlliman: Cat 1: Are the humans asleep? Cat 2: It appears so. Cat 1: I shall now sing the anthem of my people.

@KrunkedRobot: 15 out of 12 beers agree I can't do math when I'm drunk.

@LisaMcAlister1: If loving copies is wrong, I don't want to be copyright.