@rzarosco: MY AUNT: All we can do now is pray DOCTOR: Oh nice so I should put down this cardio thoracic surgical instrument? We're good here?

@MikeDrucker: Yelp is a fun game where you try to guess between whether a restaurant is bad or a reviewer is crazy.

@Dawn_M_: Okay stranger, it's clear that we walk at the exact same pace, speed up or at least hold my hand.

@LoveNLunchmeat: Some peanut butter M&M's just rolled under the fridge, and now I understand every sad love song ever written.

@Playing_Dad: Major Tom: This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door & I'm floating in a most peculiar way GC: New phone. Who dis?