@GroperCleveland: Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died.
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@Midgetspar: I'm thinking about giving that Call of Duty game a shot, but first I'm gonna try one last time to get past level 4 on Duck Hunt.
@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.
@crylenol: Commercial for Twitter dot com: *man yells nonsense out his window* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way?
@WarrenHolstein: Sorry, but Apple making driverless cars isn't breaking news. It's been going on ever since they introduced the iPhone.