@hipstermermaid: Arcade Fire: great band / nerd way to die
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@KyleMcDowell86: Judge: You're out of order! Lawyer: This whole court room is out of order! *I burst in* Me: THE VENDING MACHINE IN THE LOBBY IS OUT OF ORDER
@BringDaNoyz: I was at a Hanukkah party at my uncle's house and one of my cousins was like, "hey look it's bitcoin" and held up a piece of gelt that he'd taken a bite out of
@JasonLight73: I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!
@gorrdano: Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it.