@praisecheese: "Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"
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@MUMSIEesq: [3AM] FRIEND *opens front door* What now?! ME: Are you sure you don't think I'm too needy?
@Snarfernini: You're nice, cute & single? Can you introduce me to your friend who looks like he'd never return my texts? Yeah the one with the girlfriend.
@Marcmywords2: Pick a number, now add 7, divide by 4, write it down. Now get an apple, name it, show it a picture of your cat. Now go to bed,you're drunk.