@IamEnidColeslaw: are you a female guitar player with a breathy, annoying voice? congratulations Starbucks will play your music, no questions asked
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@djdarrellripley: Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science...
@AndrewNadeau0: SHAKESPEARE: Brevity is the soul of wit. ME: *Shows him twitter* SHAKESPEARE: Okay, well, no, obviously not like that.
@joejwest: MAGICIAN: Think of a horse ME: Ok MAGICIAN: You thinking of one? ME: Yep MAGICIAN: Cool right? ME: Very cool
@electrolemon: HARRY JR: what do you see in the mirror of desire, papa HARRY SR: well if i look closely i see you mowing the lawn this morning like i asked