@ItsTheTeenSwag: "Are you crying .?" "No, my eyes are sweating -_____-" #ITTS
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@robfee: I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs.
@ilovepie84: Your Parents divorced because your Dad didn't want to put your talentless paintings on the fridge.
@AimeeHelene1: "And this is my creepy husband, John." (The way my friend should introduce her husband)
@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to 11 y.o: "You need to apologize to your sister for calling her stupid." 11: "Okkk... I'm sor- wait. Which sister?"