@ItsTheTeenSwag: "Are you crying .?" "No, my eyes are sweating -_____-" #ITTS
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@truegritrumble: (Spelling Bee) JUDGE: Your word is catastrophe. ME: Y. O. U. R. F. A. C. E. *all the mics in the room simultaneously drop to the floor*
@AndyAsAdjective: It'll be a cold day in hell. Cloudy in purgatory, with a slight chance of rain. And clear skies up in heaven. Now over to Jim with sports.
@ArfMeasures: [Me as a boxing commentator] ME: Oh no, they're fighting again, this is just like last time