@TheCatWhisprer: Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.
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@WeissBrandon: Me: excuse me waitress, I ordered this filet medium-rare and it's clearly a peanut butter and jelly Wife: did you just call me "waitress"?
@LeBearGirdle: Neighbor: can you watch my dog? Me: like through your window? N: no, I meant like- Me: cause I don't do that now N: watc- Me: okay once
@RuthePhoenix: Ever miss somebody so much that you wonder why you became a sniper in the first place?
@caaataclysm: Walk of shame?? More like, walk of don't judge ME because YOU didn't get laid last night.