@juliussharpe: Arthur Miller underratedly sucked at naming characters. "Biff"?? "Happy"?? Dude, take five more minutes.
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@curlycomedy: The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission.
@TheToddWilliams: [family therapy] JIMMY: My dad turns everything into a movie reference DOC: Why do you do that? ME: I want to develop a bond, James. Bond
@ThisOneSayz: He: did you burn dinner again? Me: it's a Flambé. He: it's mac and cheese Me: it's French mac and cheese!!
@stockejock: SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE PREGNANT LADIES GETTING READY FOR THE BIG WEEKEND COMING UP !!! #labordayweekend