@JasonLastname: Don't cry because it's over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.

@lovexios: I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up.

@gitson_shiggles: If people on Twitter found a horses' head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops.....

@KarlreMarks: The only thing we know for certain about Macron is that he is 39 years old and even that will probably change next year.

@fillthevacuum: Why do we never see "Side effects may include spontaneous happiness, explosive giggling, uncontrollable hugging, and diarrhea"?