@slimmy_shady: As a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.The zombie apocalypse will be hilarious.
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@seamussaid: if the neighbor kid is driving you nuts practicing saxophone you can complain or teach her Careless Whisper - maybe be a problem solver
@Kyle_Lippert: It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*