@slimmy_shady: As a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.The zombie apocalypse will be hilarious.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@briancthayer: Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the other losers who missed a 15 million square mile target.
@juliussharpe: My wife wants to have another kid. That's like seeing light at the end of a tunnel and saying, "I think we better turn around."
@KenJennings: I don't really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids' history textbooks.