@themessednest: As a little girl I dreamt of being Belle so I could have that beautiful yellow gown- As a grown woman I want to be Belle so I can be locked away in an enchanted castle where the dishes clean themselves.
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@SortaSarcastic: Someone invented a yoga mat that rolls itself. If that person reads this tweet, I have a fitted sheet I'd like for you to look at.
@ChrisScarlette: May I pay you handsomely, good sir? -Why yes you may. *opens wallet* *pulls out Ryan Gosling*
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: I’m going to the grocery store...any suggestions? 9yo: [doesn’t look up from kindle] 7yo: I don’t care Husband: Just get whatever [3 hrs later] 9yo: Aww, I like the other kind of rice. 7yo: Hey, why didn’t you get waffles? Husband: *bewildered* You didn’t get granola bars?