@doktorj: As an only child with a pet cat that bullied me, the pool cleaning robot was my closest friend.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OutOfLeftField_: Friend: Did you know that a butterfly only lives for 2 days? Me: I think that's a myth. Friend: No it's definitely a butterfly.
@iscoff: TEACHER: please take off your hat in class *I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat* ME: I can do this 14 more times
@rickolantern: *stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes