@LordofScribble: As founder and CEO of YOLO Guaranteed, my first product launch will be fishnet parachutes.
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@kidphonic: Funny how you can tell a child Santa is made up and they accept it immediately, but you tell an adult God is made up, and they throw a fit.
@_sleepysmile: What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?
@stevevsninjas: As they strap me into the electric chair, I realize the warden is about to discover the 3 ounces of contraband popcorn kernels I have up my rectum.