@TheDairylandDon: As I basted the turkey, I swear I heard it say "just not in my hair"
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@NoLuckWanted: A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied "Only for you, baby". Now he feels special.
@CuddleYourCat: If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days.
@ermahgarton: a big congratulations to all the big baseball men for not closing their eyes when the ball was coming towards them, good job men