@weinerdog4life: As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit
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@dorsalstream: ADAM: Let's take turns naming animals. EVE: Ok. Lion. A: Um, sea lion. E: Horse. A: Uh, seahorse E: Cow. A: Sea cow. E: Idiot. A: Sea idiot!
@mattZillaaaa: My friends definitely cannot handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times carrying me out of the bar
@AndrewNadeau0: DATE: Tell me about yourself ME: I own 7 pens! D: I meant, like, something personal M:*Sadly* I lie about how many pens I own to impress ppl