@weinerdog4life: As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit
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@Sassafrantz: teen son: 'cause the boyz n the hood are always hard /u come talkin that trash we'll pull your card mom: take out the trash & mow the yard.
@myvisable: If a woman is bad at parking it's because she is constantly lied to about what 8 inches is.
@RobinMcCauley: AOL was hacked yesterday so watch out for spam email that looks like it came from 1995.
@itswrigley: I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful.