@JimGaffigan: As long as McDonald's doesn't make us pay with excercise.
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@fro_vo: Dr: well i have good news and bad news Me: give me the bad news Dr: you have cancer Me: what's the good news Dr: i don't
@jordan_stratton: If you think January has been a big month for marches, you're gonna lose your mind when you hear what the 3rd month of the year is called.
@osigat: ? Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be... ? Wait, hang on...my bad, those are vultures.
@HeyZeus666: I could lose 120 pounds in less than a week, but apparently there's some kind of silly NewYork law against killing your ex.