@timdonakowski: As long as you're good at blending in, you can be part of Brad and Angelina's family too.
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@Darlainky: Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism.
@iscoff: Eating food off the floor, taking pills, trying to chase away ghosts? I grew up to be Pac-Man
@briangaar: I always carry a pair of shades with me because you never know when you might see a dead body & say something cool
@panmidwest: JOSEPH: who did you name me after? ME: you were named after my grandfather GREGGNOG: what about me dad?