@timdonakowski: As long as you're good at blending in, you can be part of Brad and Angelina's family too.
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@Swishergirl24: My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
@ItsAndyRyan: My printer: Sorry, can't print this out – I'm very low on magenta ink Me: But I'm literally printing black text – there's no red in it My printer: Feed me magenta or you get nothing
@david8hughes: [picking son up from soccer practice] Me: how was it? Coach: he did very well Me: how many goals did you score? Son: none Me: right well one of you is a liar then