@Burger_Time_: [as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first
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@The_Grant_Boldt: *at Starbucks* "Ya I'll have the medium roast please" *Barista insults him a lot but not too much*
@upsidedowntrash: After a long journey Frodo and Sam arrive to return the One Ring to the fires of Mt. Doom Frodo: Dude dont be mad, but I forgot the receipt
@VodkaShorebird: GUY 1: Why can’t we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born.