@CYComedy: As soon as I walk in, I can feel every woman at the gym dressing me with their eyes.
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@WilliamRodgers: Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don't have Cancer! Me: So it's working...
@zachreinert03: I only eat free range chicken because I only eat food that was given the illusion of freedom before it was murdered
@simoncholland: You should be able to make your GPS call you a code name. "Bobcat, in 3.1 miles turn left" "Recalculating, Bobcat, you're going rogue."
@MableGertrude: I would pay big bucks to Sea World to see a dolphin fly out of a water tank into the stands and start rolling around and eating people.