@CYComedy: As soon as I walk in, I can feel every woman at the gym dressing me with their eyes.
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@MarlonBrandNO: Me: I have Schrödinger like reflexes "Don't you mean cat-like reflexes?" Me: Yes and No.
@ArfMeasures: [phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted? W: OMG M: I'm in a bar not far from there
@dafloydsta: [first date] HER: It looks like you work out ME: *adjusting the tissues in my sleeves* Oh yeah, big time worker outer
@SteveSuckington: I wonder how many hobbies you have to suck at before you take up bird watching.