@DontTouchMyWine: As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
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@mkpaulsen: My tinder profile says I love dogs but then on dates I elaborate that it is hot dogs and corn dogs
@envydatropic: They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that's why I surround myself with lazy people
@matt___nelson: CHINA: how can we fix our economic problems??? GERMANY: how do we reestablish our engineering reputation??? USA: OH MY GOD RAT WITH A PIZZA
@cambuslad: You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop... I've that.