@KalvinMacleod: As the pair of scissors steps up to the starting line, the other runners quickly realize that this race just got a whole lot more dangerous.
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@SteveSuckington: [talking to family after emergency surgery] Your positive energy saved my life Surgeon: *waves hand* umm hello
@Dutch_50: Hey, I'm human. If you cut me do I not bleed? If you cut me a slice of pizza do I not eat?