@clarkekant: Ask your doctor if an unnecessary over-prescribed medication so he can get kickbacks from a pharmaceutical company is right for you.
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@trojansauce: DATE: how about we move this to the bedroom? ME: give me one minute *i kiss all my beanie babies on the head and put them on the ground*
@iAmDelFreaky: Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby.
@geekysteven: "Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. "Who?" TT: Bingo