@clarkekant: Ask your doctor if an unnecessary over-prescribed medication so he can get kickbacks from a pharmaceutical company is right for you.
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@MrSpoonicorn: "can i smoke in here?" "sure go ahead sir" "thanks" *lights scented candle* "can i scatter rose petals in here?" "erm- "can i dim the lights
@preritpathak: People on Facebook Nowadays: *Clicks pic while sipping coffee* *Posts as DP with irrelevant caption: Every scar makes me who I am* WTF?
@Tups13: As a cat burglar most of my late night break-ins are actually well orchestrated attempts to pet other peoples animals.