@Cheeseboy22: Asked my 1st grade students the riddle: What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive? (A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."
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@ValeeGrrl: You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out "I hate you" in morse code w my knife.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I can point out chicks who say "vokka" and "liberry" instead of "vodka" and "library" based on the use of emoticons in their screen name.
@ChipKellysBalls: WebMD is a Choose Your Own Adventure book where every single story ends in malignant cancer