@_thatigirl: Asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn't the right answer.
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@DaddyJew: 5: daddy can I tell you a secret? Me: sure thing buddy 5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands
@Cheeseboy22: Every time my dentist is kind enough to tell me I need to floss, I am kind enough to tell him that he needs to trim his nostril hairs.
@Chumpstring: SON: can I yell bomb at the airport DAD: no SON: I can yell boom DAD: boom's ok SON: how about "my mom's a lesbian now" DAD: please don't