@brennadine: At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, "This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GrantTanaka: Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit
@rhysjamesy: Hey to all the girls with more than one person in their picture you're making this VERY DIFFICULT.
@DaddyJew: Dentist: have you been flossing? [ flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip earlier ] Me: yes
@SexyInsomniac: I just ran into my friend Sue. She introduced me to her second husband. I said "I wouldn't have picked him first either."