@brennadine: At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, "This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."
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@FeelingMervis: I've had intimate problems all my life. I just can't get close to someone without feeling insecure. You said internet problems? Nevermind.
@HatfieldAnne: Dinner: I BIT THE INSIDE OF MY MOUTH! IT WILL NEVER HEAL! NOTHING WILL EVER BE RIGHT AGAIN! Next morning: Oh, OK.
@chadopitz: Tom Cruise does all of his own stunts because death is the only way out of the Church of Scientology.