@RideSallyRide69: At my age getting lucky means having the house to myself
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@HallpassCanada: The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn't seem to be having the desired affect.
@Brampersandon_: *fart noise* ME: it was your dog. I swear! GIRL: my dog died last year you liar GHOST DOG: theres no way she's gonna sleep with you now lmao
@DontTouchMyWine: It sucks when someone cuts you off in traffic and you have to catch up to them & throw a perfectly good cup of coffee at their windshield.